minikikiart

It has been a while since my last post, and I have a confession to make.

I don’t know what I’m doing. 

I like to think that every artist thinks like this. Certainly from the countless books, blog posts and forums I’ve read about being an artist, I have learned that we are all uncertain, all the time. But we plod along, faking confidence, hoping that we will make it … someday. The pressure is tough man! When you are swamped with undeniable talent everywhere you turn, it’s hard not to look at your own work and start doubting yourself. It doesn’t really help that I spent 6 years studying to become an architect, either. How is that going to help me become a professional artist? (Apart from the lessons I learned in dealing with constant criticism).

The move to Japan has also stalled my artistic development. I came here to learn. To enjoy life. To experience. And I am doing all of these things, which leaves little time for art (although that is a part of it all). And the guilt to constantly push myself and improve so that I can appear professional just adds stress to the situation. I have been focussing so much on trying to create products like prints to sell (which, believe me, is no easy task when you hardly speak any useable Japanese!) and lately tried my hand at submitting T-shirt designs on Threadless.

So with all these thoughts and actions flying around, I received a tweet from a friend the other day. She told me how she has one of my drawings stuck to her computer, and it makes her smile every day. Just the day before, someone else told me that I am sharing smiles with my drawings. And I had an epiphany. I got so caught up in trying to become a professional and making money off of my art, that I forgot about the heart and soul behind the process of making art. If what I love to do (painting and illustrating) can bring a brief moment of joy into someone else’s life, then that is an amazing thing!

So I have decided. No more T-shirt competitions, no more stressing about creating prints for sale. I will still be available to paint shoes. But I am taking a break from trying to be an entrepreneur. I am going back to the drawing board. Literally. I am going to use my time in Japan to explore my Artist Self, to work on my ‘style’, to learn how to express what I see and feel. I have come a long way on my journey already, but I know I still have miles to go.

So while I will be blogging about my artist’s journey, I would also love to hear from others about their journeys as an artist. Hopefully we can inspire each other to become the awesome, confident Artist Selves that we know we can be!